Bad Habits

Since losing weight I have developed some bad habits. Ladies and gentlemen I have bones. You see when I was heavy my bones were buried under the fat, and I thought I was made of Jell-O and boneless.

One day I woke up and I noticed something poking up from my midsection. “Oh my God I have ribs!” I’d better check the other side to see if I grew some there too. Yup there they were. Hmmm…I’d better count them; four on each side. Soon I could count five; I grew another one. Then I could actually see some of them, wow! Bad habit number one: Counting my ribs every morning.

When I was overweight I would look at magazines and scoff at the models who had collarbones. “How disgusting, look at her!” Alright sometimes those poor girls can go too far, and it really does look bad, but for the most part I was just jealous. I wanted sleek collar bones too. I was getting really tired of my bras falling off my shoulders because I had nothing to hold them up. Guess what! I have collar bones! Yes it is true. I can’t wait until summer so I can wear a strappy little dress and show off these babies. Bad habit number two: I keep poking at them. I love to turn my neck slightly, and run my fingers over the bone. Bad habit number three: I actually show people my collar bone accomplishment! “Hey look at this…I have a bone here.” This is starting to get a little sad.

I haven’t developed bad habit number four yet, but I just discovered that I have hip bones. I think I need an intervention!