Thursday, May 15, 2014
Update: I am not dying, my world did not end, none of my major organs failed, so no need to send flowers. I did have a hysterectomy which seemed to clear everything up. And you know what? The best part is I don't have any more monthly inconveniences but I still get to enjoy the glorious cravings for french fries. It's a twofer because I HEART french fries.
Drum roll please... I am getting to the update everyone wants to know, how much do I weigh? How do I look? I weigh 162 pounds and I look fabulous. I did it. It took almost 7 years but I am a success! I will post more about that later and a picture. Everybody always wants a photo. I know this fact to be true because I lurk and search for photos on other people's weight loss blogs and when there is no update photos I am like, 'What the hell? ' I came on your blog to read about you and to SEE how you're doing. I know I am not the only one...
* I reserve the right to whine and bitch about turning 40 because at the moment I'm not happy about it. I know I will get over it. I wonder if there is actually a turning 40 phobia because if there is I totally have it.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
I’m supposed to be at the gym today; as a matter of fact-right now. I went there in my mind I imagined the workout equipment, the cardio machines, and the weights. I figure I did such a good job imaging that I can forgo the actual ‘going’ part. Instead I will do some cardio on my treadmill which at the moment I prefer. I’m supposed to go to the gym Thursday maybe my memory won’t be so great then I will have to go.
Small steps… Last week I wouldn’t even have entertained the thought of going to the gym.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
My home enables me to stay put and not go outside. You see I have a nice home; it is nicely decorated, calm, clean, and very relaxing. When people come over they give me the greatest compliment by saying that I have a home that is comfortable. Really? Of course it is, I have spent a lot of time and effort making my island of solitude wonderful. It is going to be hard to give up lounging about in my wonderland. I’m just being honest.
However, it is day three of the Amy Improvement Project. I feel like I’m going in the right direction.
Yesterday I took Holly to the doctors; yeah but, the ‘yay moment’ was that I walked there. Before this I would have only walk around my block, over, and over, and over, and over again. I have done many 10k walks just walking around my block. I fear my neighbors think I’m crazy, and they’re mostly right. But yesterday I walked 5k to Holly’s doctor who was not located on, or anywhere near my block. I had to walk through town to get there. I did it. To celebrate Holly and I went to… yup you guessed it…Starbucks to celebrate. She didn’t know we were celebrating but I did.
Today the weather is very grey outside. These are my favorite days, because I can justify not having to go anywhere, or do anything. I just sit back and relax. Today will be no different however I am going to stretch out my comfort zone inside my house. I’m going to prepare dinner. I hate cooking so much I would rather stick toothpicks in my eyeballs. But I’m going to cook anyway because I want to feel accomplished, even today.
I’m going to sign off and go walk on my treadmill and while I walk I will think about what I will make for dinner.
Monday, January 3, 2011
2010 is over!!!!
I’m doing a happy dance. I dare say that the year that just passed has been a very challenging year for me.
I just didn’t feel well. I have not been taking care of myself the way I know I should be. I have very little of my energy, I willingly became housebound, I have been in physical pain for long periods of time, and I have lived under a cloud of depression for what seemed like the whole of 2010. As a result of all of this I believe that this is why I gained seven pounds.
Becoming a hermit was the absolute worse. I never understood why some people couldn’t just go outside. ‘Come on; just walk out your door. It’s no big deal.’ Now I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe; I went from a doing-everything-living-life-person to what I am today which is a person who prefers to stay inside out of fear. Irony is a bitch. I’m so pissed off because I don’t want to be in this prison of my own design, I never wanted to be. I have friends and a life to live. I need to get back to it.
What I found odd is when I became a recluse to the outside world; I was difficult for me to be online. I no longer wanted to blog, post on my cherished sites, or even Facebook my friends.
I do not believe it’s too late for me. My desire for change runs very deep in me and I have a lot of determination to not let this get the best of me.
I have started to take vitamins and iron for my anemia, which will greatly improve my energy. I have also decided to eat healthier this year, and put together a doable exercise program to help any physical pain. But my must do in 2011 is to change my life back; I want to be free again, paroled this year. The first step is to start posting and blogging. I need to re-enter society.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
I haven’t been blogging because my life has been boring!!!! Wait why do I need exclamations for that sentence? It’s totally uncalled for. If I was to blog my life it would have said the same thing day after day….
I watched Maury today and guess what? ‘He was the father.’ After my Maury fix I settled into my retirement recliner toke a nap, ate lunch, surfed the internet, napped, watched another talk show, napped, ate dinner, toke a short walk, napped, and then went to bed. BORING!
What could I blog about? My lunches were always the same: an apple, peanut butter, and a small slice of cheddar cheese. I’m afraid even I couldn’t find merits in my day to blog about.
It’s true I did have a birthday in May. I turned 36 and I didn’t want to talk about it. I guess I reached the age where I dread my birthday, and when they’re here I just want to get them over with. Then I can go back to telling people I’m 34, oops.
Well, I found something else to do besides nap. I’m going to paint my huge kitchen and huge living room. I need you to understand that I have never, ever painted before. I have never held a paintbrush. But how hard can it be? You clean the walls, tape, prime, edge, paint, and then wait for it to dry, right?
I bought the green edging tape. It’s on my kitchen table staring at me. I’m staring at it. It’s a showdown.
The rational part of me is telling me to wait for my father who painted professionally, and loves to paint my walls. It’s also telling me that I just had a tummy tuck so I should take it easy. But phooey, the manic part of me is telling me to break out the cleaning supplies and to start cleaning the walls.
I just want to see what will happen. That’s how I operate. I always push myself, and everything else past its limit to see what the actual limit is. When I fall off the edge then I know. ‘Well I guess that was the edge, who knew?’ Are you like that too? David hates this quality in me. ‘Hmmm…I’m not sure if this will hurt when I touch this red hot burner; I better do it just to check.’ I need to be my own source. Let be honest my example painted me as a dumbass, but it has been my ability to test the waters; well actually jump in feet first, push myself past my limit that has made me a success today.
I’m not going to start this project today. I have to go to a party tonight and if I get too focused on my painting project I won’t have any energy for my friend’s party. Ah, but tomorrow is another day…
Monday, June 7, 2010
I’ve been a very bad blogger. I’m so sorry about that. There has been so much going on in my life, but at the same time nothing at all. How does that work? I have no idea.
I have spent the last six weeks focusing on recovering. I don’t want to sound like a whiny baby but it has been a rough road. I’m glad the first six weeks are over; I’m hoping the next six are a little easier to stomach. Ha, that was my lame attempt at humor.
I’m at my goal weight of 160 pounds, which means that I lost a total of 95 pounds thanks to my lapband. My weight loss journey is over. I’m now focusing on maintaining it, and gaining a firm toned body. I’m so happy to be done with that crazy journey.
Another new development since my tummy tuck is my taste buds have drastically changed. I no longer like Starbucks coffee. I know, right! What’s that about? I also am not a fan of most sweets, but I am having a love affair with ice cream; chocolate to be exact. I 'm not an innocent angel...yes I have devilish side when it comes to frozen treats.
Certain smells bother me. Anything that reminds me of the first week of my recovery still makes my stomach churn. I don’t think I will ever be able to use dial anti-bacterial soap for the rest of my life. What a shame.
I’m still pretty tired these days. I was hoping that would end at the six week mark, but I guess it takes my body longer to heal. My mind is still all foggy. I blame my foggy mind for this un-witty blog entry. I just wanted to stop by and say hello, and I miss you guys.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I over did it yesterday by a mile and a half. I had to go to my plastic surgeon for a check-up. Since he is located in Vancouver that meant I had to do some serious walking, and because there were two accidents on the stupid freeway that meant we were almost late, which meant that I had to walk really fast. My tummy did not like that.
I’m glad that I went to my appointment and all, because my doc sucked out 400ml of fluid that had collected in my tummy for no good reason. After that was all done I was flatter.
On the road again…
It was David’s birthday 12 days ago, but because of my surgery no one celebrated it. Well that’s not true; my daughter made him a spaghetti dinner and a carrot cake birthday cake. But for the rest of us we just pushed it forward until it was more convenient for us to celebrate it.
We went out for dinner with David’s parents. Everyone loved their dinner except David; his sucked. Besides David’s dinner being crap, and my post-op tummy tuck starting to rebel it was a lovely dinner. But don’t feel bad for David, his cake and presents made up for the lack of tastiness in his meal.
We ended up getting home at 12:12am. My stomach was killing me. I took some pain killers and went to bed.
I awoke this morning, and guess what? My stomach is still not pleased. I’m still hurting. I’m refusing the hard pain meds but I’m starting to consider myself a dumbass for making such a stupid decision.
I have to be totally honest with you; today’s pain feels like day two’s pain. But on day two I was naïve because I thought everyday would get better and better. Today I’m more of a cynic, because I’m starting to understand that there may be set backs. As a result of this new attitude I’m starting to wonder if this was such a hot idea. Vanity is bad thing.
And you know what else? To get beautiful you have to go through some not so beautiful moments. Like yesterday at my surgeon’s office: He has a three way mirror so I could see myself at every angle. I have to explain something to you: in order to keep everything in place I have to wear a compression garment. (I think I’ve mentioned that before.) But I have added to my wardrobe. Now I wear a compression top with built in bra, and I always wear panties over my Compression garment. (Those CGs have a crotch hole for easy access, so if I were to leave it as-is it would be like I was going commando, and that just isn’t my style.)
My surgeon asked me to lift up my shirt so he could get access to my tummy. ‘Well darling it isn’t that easy.’ First I had to drop my drawers along with my underwear, take off my bra/undershirt combination, and then let him undo the compression garment and let that fall to the ground as well.
So picture me with everything at my ankles, and my bra top at my neck. I looked in the mirror, and I looked so ridiculous with my swollen and bruised belly hanging out. Now I’m fully aware that he has seen me naked, but I was out cold so that doesn’t count. I began to understand why girls wear cute panties and bra sets to see their doctors. I’m going to note that down and put that in my back pocket.
I’m going to see him on Wednesday and I’m going to wear the more easily accessible compression garment. This one has Velcro on the bottom all you have to do is raise it up from the hips. And hopefully on my six month check-up I will be wearing those cutie undergarment sets, with my unburied flat stomach. If not, I’m going to ask for my money back.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I think my body is rebelling from being cut open, ripped apart, and having the jiggly parts sucked out of it. What can I say?
I’m on day 11. The second week is harder than the first. The first week I took drugs and slept. This week I can’t get comfortable, I’m bloated, and my mind is playing games on me. During week one I had a nice flat stomach; now not so much. I’m beginning to second guess myself as to why I did this.
On the plus side I do have a tiny little waist, and the cutest belly button. Is that worth the $10,000? Maybe, I was always complaining about muffin top, and I definitely don’t have that anymore.
David has taken the week off of work to take care of me. He is calling it a ‘stay-cation’. He won’t let me do anything for myself. I’m surprised that he is not typing this blog entry for me. Again I’m not complaining, who could? My only fear is when he goes back to work I might forget how to put on my own socks. My feet are going to get so cold.
Well that is it for now. I just wanted to let you know that I’m alive and doing well. I will write more soon.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
It's time for bed. I have taken my sleeping meds. (a perk of being bipolar) This blog entry doesn't even make sense to me, but I had to write something. *Note to self: Do not blog while on sleeping medication. I'm going to put that in my back pocket for a later date. The funny thing is; I won't remember blogging this in the morning. I get amnesia from my sleeping pills. So that means when I open my blog tomorrow I will be reading this for the first time just like you are. How cool is that?
Wait, what was I blogging about? I'm having to think... oh right, only 31 hours until my surgery. Are you as excited as I am? I'd better go to bed. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
When I got my lapband surgery I don’t remember counting down the hours. In fact I was too busy having my 'last meals'. Let’s see in 81 hours I would have been able to fit in five trips to Starbucks for my last rounds venti mochas and massive chocolate chip cookies, three runs to Dairy Queen for a large Blizzard, three trips through a Wendy’s drive-thru, a visit from the Pizza Hut delivery guy, a meal at Red Robin, and a ceremonious farewell cake and ice cream party. I probably could have done more buffeting, but I had to fast before my surgery.
I really don’t remember what my actual ‘last meal' was. I just remember having a lot of them. Those were good times. Yeah, but when it was time for surgery David had to roll me into the hospital due to the gazillion calories that I had consumed during my feasting.
For this life changing surgery I no longer have the desire to finance all of the fast food joints in town. So how do I fill my time? I have no idea. I could watch 81 episodes of Dr. Phil. No thank you; I think I would rather eat myself to death.
Tomorrow my friend is coming over to go shopping with me for David’s birthday. I have no idea what to get him. I want it to be something special after all I have nothing but time on my hands. I should be able to figure out something good to get him for his birthday. However in the afternoon I will be watching paint dry.
Thursday, I must get the house clean for the cleaners who are coming on Friday. Not clean-clean, but organized, and then after I'm finished I'll watch paint dry.
Friday, I must pack, watch paint dry until David comes home from work, take David out for his birthday dinner, and make the long trip out to his parent’s home where we will be staying the night.
Saturday, I will rise at 4:30 am, be at the clinic at 6:00 am, and at 7:00 am I will be counting backwards from 10.
Sunday, I will wake up and wish it was today when I wasn’t in so much pain. Be careful what you wish for...
Friday, April 16, 2010
There is so much to do. I have to shop. Normally I love shopping but shopping for medical supplies turns out to be on the bottom of my list of favorite things to shop for.
Yesterday, in the spirit of preparing for the big even I decided to venture into a medical supply shop. It was like walking into a car dealership, but instead of cars for sale it was wheelchairs and other motorized riding scooters that were up for sale. Row after row of wheelchairs and scooters, I didn’t know if I was supposed to take one to test drive while I shopped or what. I almost did; come on, some had baskets attached to them.
The thing that scared me the most is: this massive store was crowded. The malls may be empty, but wheelchair-scooter stores are packed. I guess it’s true the baby boomers still have all the money. My generations, and all the generations after mine are so screwed.
My shopping list included: latex gloves, hot & cold packs, two types of non-shower cleansers, two bed protection pads, and finally my favorite-a potty seat riser. Oh and there is still much more to buy, but I can buy the rest some where else. I need to support the malls. I wanted to buy a scooter, but none of them came in blue.
Today I called a house cleaning company to come in and do a full clean of my joint. I figure if I do it myself I run the risk of going manic or getting ill from exhaustion. We can’t have that can we? There is still so much to do around the house that the cleaners can’t do. I will have to get those things done myself. UGH. I am going to re-organize the office, the Cookie Monster room, (Yep, I have a room just for Cookie Monster.) clean out the refrigerator, kitchen pantry, cupboards, and finally I have to de-clutter every room in my home. Basically I have to make my home look like a show home. Currently my home is not messy; you could come over for dinner right now, and I would be proud to have you. But it has to be more than perfect after my surgery, because if it’s not I will fall into a deep depression. It’s just part of my illness. Don’t worry I have a list and I’m taking it slow.
There is so much to get done…
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I need to get busy doing stuff, but I feel like sleeping. That’s doing something, right?
If you don’t know I’m getting a tummy tuck on April 24th-that’s right it’s only ten days away. There is so much to do! I don’t want to do any of it. Nada. None. Nothing. I need to clean the house, but instead I decided that making a bigger mess would be a better idea. I should be doing laundry. Nah, instead there is a mountain of dirty clothes that is so tall that if you were to climb it, you would need extra oxygen to get to the top. Youtube videos- those guys, I should be editing them. Forget about it. Like I said nothing. Instead of being a stream of activity I have turned into a pond of laziness.
I just went to sleep for a few hours…I can’t even muster the energy for this blog entry.
I will try and write more in a few days. What’s a matter with me? I think I’m just overwhelmed.
I did manage a short Youtube video.