Here is my life since: 2007-
I went and got me a lapband. Lost a bunch of weight. (Thumbs up. Wrote a lot in my blog, 'cus life was coming up good!)
2008- I was put on a new drug to control my bipolar; weight loss came to a halt. I was ashamed-didn't want to leave the house. Sure I wasn't going bonkers, but I was depressed. Spent my time watching daytime TV, dieting, working out on a treadmill, and wondering what the hell was keeping me from losing weight.
-2010 the same stuff was going on but I have just seem to get worse. Thought if I got a tummy tuck I would feel better. Not so much. In fact felt worse than ever.
2010 - 2011- I have done nothing! No treadmill, no nothing. Lost my will to survive.
Well that was until today...
I am so tired of being tired. I am more beaten down now then I was when I was 250 pounds. I had a better attitude then too; I remember being happier. I am so tired of being down on myself. I can't do it anymore. Today is the day where I fight back. Today is the day when I remember who I am and that means I remember how tough I am!
I have gained weight- of course during this past year. Duh! About 10 pounds. I need to lose about 15 pounds to make a difference in my appearance or my tummy tuck will have been for nothing. I used to make Youtube videos but I'm so ashamed of my appearance that I just can't do it.
It is time to come out of hiding and make my dreams come true. I didn't come this far to be defeated.
This blog is called I REALLY WANT A COOKIE- and that is really what I want: a cookie, a cake, some ice cream, maybe a cheese burger, well the list goes on and on... But for the next 5 days my short-term goal is to cut out all sugar from my diet. That will means I will have to refrain from drinking Starbucks mochas, and enjoying all the sugary snacks that I love so much. I will also be participating in some form of exercise each day this week. The last thing I will do is journal my feelings here.
Right now I am scared. I don't want to give up the sugar and I don't want to move my lazy butt anywhere, but the thing about it is: I don't want to be so close to the finish line and stalled just out of reach. I want to accomplish my goals. I want to believe in myself. I want to believe I have the willpower, the self-control, the self-confidence, inner strength, and the love for myself to get to the finish line.
My current weight is 173.8. It was 168.2 just 3 weeks ago, but I went on a sugar
binge. I guess I hit rock bottom...Let's get this party started.
The picture on the left is
what I looked like last summer before I gained 10 pounds.
The picture on the right is what I look like today.
3 comments:
AMY!!! i am so happy to see you blog again. i had a feeling that the tummy tuck put you in a funk. you have to be so careful of everything you do because of your chemical imbalance. you are sensitive change, even if it is good change. so you gained a few pounds. that is what everyone does. you gain a few and lose a few. dont take it so hard. you have accomplished so much. instead of beating yourself down, pat yourself on the back. you deserve it. i wish all good things for you. Lori
Hi Amy, I am so glad to see you posting on here again. I've been on vacation for the last month. I know how you feel. I too have been having trouble with my band. Mine has been unfilled since last year in October. I may have to have it removed. Today I decided to try the 5 day pouch test to get me back on track. So far so good. Please keep posting. It will help you to feel better and we can all encourage you. Take care honey.
Now a days people loose its fat for use Tummy tuck. It is very useful for the people to loose its fat or abnormal skin as quickly as possible.
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