Focus, Smile, Click!

Why are there no pictures of me? I have been pounding that question lately. As you may have guessed by now the camera is my siren call. Even when I was bigger I couldn’t stay away from the magic of the flashbulb. The camera allows me to let to be the center of attention for a lifetime and beyond. I love the thought of that!

I married a man with very few flaws, but one of his shortcomings is taking pictures of me. It is not that he doesn’t like taking pictures. He will take pictures of sunsets, bodies of water, and buildings. I am also sure he has even taken pictures of blades of grass. (Well maybe I am exaggerating a little.) At heart he may fancy himself to be some sort of nouveau photographer. I have no idea. But come on…where are the pictures of me? We don’t have pictures of my weight loss hotness. We don’t have pictures of me sitting here writing this blog. True we do have pictures of buildings and grass. He has an excuse for his lack of Amy picture taking. (He calls it a reason, but I call it an excuse.) In his formative “photographer” years he was one of those people that would take someone’s picture: snap…and then immediately move the camera. You know what I am talking about. As a result of him moving the camera he would cut off the heads of his subjects and made them fuzzy to boot. This was especially bad because it was before digital came out, and you were forced to pay for crappy pictures. If you were lucky enough to have your picture taken by mine truly this would have been your experience: You would go to the drive-thru Kodak photo both and excitedly open your photo envelope hoping to see a wonderful picture of you posed with Rod Steward. (Hey I am going back in time to tell this story, so I had to use Rod.) Only to find out that David, because of his lack of picture taking talent has cut off both of your heads. Now who will believe you when you tell people you met Rod at Baskin Robins? I think David got chewed out a lot by people after they visited the Kodak drive-thru. Given this I can understand why he is a little camera shy. BUT we have been together for almost eighteen years, and in those eighteen years I have given him numerous photography lessons. The one about holding the camera up for a second or two after you hit the button was lesson one, which he mastered; thank you very much. All this being said he still prefers buildings over people.

UPDATE

Since writing this blog and letting David proof read it. (I did that because I did not want him to sue me for talking bad about his photography skills in my blog.) The first thing he did was get the camera. The second thing he did was start to take pictures of me. The issue I had with that was: I was in the bathroom. (Washing my hands, but still.)

Oh yeah BTW…he is going to set up his own blog called, “All My Wife Wants is a Cookie.” And his first entry is going to be: “My Wife is a Meanie!” I am waiting on bated breathe for that blog to hit the internet. How about you?