Santa Simon

My Christmas shopping is completed; thanks to online shopping. See I didn’t need a car, and the best thing was I didn’t have to “shark” around the parking lot looking for a parking spot. Nope, my comfortable chair was always available; with the exception of times when my cat was online shopping. At least that is what he told me. (It looked like he was curled up sleeping, but what do I know? Cats are very complicated creatures.) I shared the chair and the computer with him because he promised to pay his own shipping and handling charges, and buy me something really good for Christmas. I booked marked pages for him. I hope he gets me the $3,000 espresso machine!

My dog actually goes out shopping. He fights with the crowds, and given the fact that he is only about a foot tall I worry about his safety. My puppy Simon loves to shop. He likes to go to the historical part of our town. This part of town is where time has stood still. The storefronts and sidewalks shift you back in time at least 50 years. However the stores are filled with overpriced giftware, trendy cookware, and home décor items. It is a browsers paradise. My dog loves going there. I think it is because getting there requires a walk from our home to this historical time treasure. Not to mention he gets a lot of, “Oh, look at that cute puppy! Can I pet him?”

Here is how my dog goes shopping:

I tell Simon what I want, and then David and Simon go searching for an item on my wish list. Simon even has a pouch that is filled with money that attaches to his collar. He looks really proud when he is walking with his pouch of cash. His head is high, his smile is wide, and his tail wags for the whole walk. On a side note he does not carry home the gifts; he just carries home the change.

When he gets home he tells me what he bought me, but because I don’t speak dog I have no clue. Holly usually wraps his gift, because of the whole: “I have no thumbs” issue. (By the way she wraps on behalf of the cat as well, but that is due to the cat’s “I don’t give a damn” issue.)

As far as the cat goes I don’t think he online shops. I think we shop on his behalf, because when we open the gifts that he gives us; he looks as surprised too! Plus I have yet to see the UPS man; what is that all about?