The Storm is Rolling in...Take Cover.

(To get full understanding of this entry please read February 10th entry first. This entry won’t make any sense otherwise, and that would be a shame.)

BITCH WATCH 09! has now been upgraded to BITCH HURRICANE 09! The residents of my home have been advised to evacuate the premises for their own safety.

What started out to be a relatively calm day turned in to a nasty storm of epic proportions unlike any I have seen before!

It started because I was feeling a lot better and I decided to get out of my jammies, and put on proper clothes. When I got out of the shower I tried to put on my jeans. My jeans did not button up; in fact the button and the button hole did not even touch. There was a gap, and you could actually see flesh. I had to suck in my tummy to get the jeans to close. (Which by this time my tummy was now being referred to as my gut.) After some pleading, and a strategy known as: “lying down on the bed to get my jeans zipped up” I was able to get the jeans on. However, when I examined myself in the mirror there was a major case of “muffin top”. It was so bad that there were rolls spilling out from the sides of my jeans. There was also another concern: my gut was in pain, so I had to remove the jeans very quickly. I was dumbfounded. I knew that I had gained 2 pounds since falling ill, but “What the hell was this?” I needed more evidence, so I grabbed my measuring tape and measured my waist and you know what? I had also managed to add 3 inches to my waist. Say what?

The storm is now rolling in! Oh yeah; it’s on! Three inches on my waist, and I also noticed that my small spare tire was morphing into a medium tractor tire.

Think, think, think… Where has my band been? Come to think of it I haven’t noticed a full signal since I have gotten this virus. Clouds are overhead- BIG GREY CLOUDS! Has all of this coughing somehow managed to mess up my band in any way?

Wind gust are now at 125 miles per hour, because I had to revert to my PJ bottoms. I had try and figure out why I am expanding. David has taken cover and left the house to go and buy me some yoga pants. I think he is trying to escape BITCH WATCH 09!, but more importantly I know he is trying to prevent THE GREAT DEPRESSION!

(If you have been banded and have had your own serious cough, and you too feared that you had somehow caused damage to your band, but after all the coughing was over, you and your band were fully functional again please leave a comment. It would ease my mind. Also please contact me if you have gained inches in a short amount of time, and you figured out why it happened to you, or you have an idea how to get rid of the excess inches- it would be much appreciated.)