Toxic

I am not a person who takes pleasure in another person’s misery, but I take pleasure in knowing that I am not part of someone’s misery. Does that make sense? I will explain…

Do you remember: La La La I am not listening anymore? It was a classic blog entry in which I discussed my new relationship with my bathrobe, and my old toxic relationship with an ex-friend. I have some updates.

My old “friend” who I will refer to from this point forward as “Toxic T” has only a handful of friends. (I wonder why.) When I was thrown out on my ass I was one less victim…I mean friend. She only had 5 in her circle. Last week I got an email from another one of Toxic T’s victims asking me how I was doing? I thought, ‘Why is she consorting with the enemy?’ It turns out that she has been on a quest to find me for some time, because she walked away from Toxic T! Walked away? Who does that? I couldn’t do it.

I believe with all of my heart that if Toxic didn’t throw me off the train I would still be riding the rails with her; unhappy as ever. We talked for a number of hours, and we hardly talked about the Toxic One. It was just good to catch up.

Now let’s see if I am good at math: Toxic only had 5 friends. I am gone, Victim #2 left; wow that only leaves her with 3. Things are unravelling.

What if she loses more victims? Who will she pick on next? Her husband? Nope he is already beaten down.

Deep down I know that other people will be smarter and braver than I was. They will wise up and kick Toxic to the curb. It may take them time, because it is hard to breathe when you are breathing toxic fumes, but it is possible. Her victims will realize that they are beautiful, and that they deserve to be treated better than this.

I guess I am just glad to know that it wasn’t about me. I have peace, and I have a friend back, and that just goes to show me that people think highly of me despite the company I kept.

35...and Getting Older by the Minute...

Since I lasted blogged I had a birthday. I was seriously considering not having my birthday, and just staying the same age. But since that isn’t possible, and I really like chocolate cake, and presents I decided to have my birthday. I think if there was no such thing as cake there would be a lot less birthdays in the world. It’s a birthday conspiracy; and cake is in on it.

I turned thirty-five, which means I am strongly advised not to smoke because it increases the risk of serious cardiovascular side effects including blood clots, stroke, and heart attack if I take birth control pills. The good news for me is that I do not smoke, but now I HAVE to be careful. Well it is settled…I won’t take birth control pills. I just can’t chance it.

My free-time is going to be taken up by spending time in the beauty department. Did you know that age 35 is when the face starts changing and noticeable wrinkles around our eyes and on the forehead appear? Vanity is such a bad thing. Wait I just thought of a solution: BOTOX, BOTOX, BOXTOX, and more BOTOX. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before!

Honestly I am feeling better since I started this entry. Maybe turning 35 isn’t too bad.

If you have been following my blog you will remember that I made goals for last year.
Fishing
Dancing
Running

Fishing: Here is what I accomplished:
I studied youtube.com until I learned how to set up a fishing line like a pro.

I spent time with a neighbour who fishes almost everyday. He taught me how to cast, and handle my rod. The people who are fortune enough to fish with me while I cast-out really liked that lesson. (To be fair I have only sent five people to the hospital for fishing related accidents.)

I went fishing with my brother, but we didn’t catch anything, which was not my fault. My brother thought his superior fishing skills would allow us to catch fish with no bait. He forgot the bait at the dock, and did not want to go back. I firmly believe if we had had bait I would have filled the boat with fish.

I am still going to continue to fish over the summer, but I will be very careful not to forget the bait.

Running: Did it! I can run 5km. It is still difficult, but I can do it.
This running thing is the challenge I hated the most. Having said that I am going to keep this challenge for another year. (Now I am making a frowny face because I have to keep this challenge.)

As for the dancing don't ask.

I have not been well, and I continue to be ill. I can not keep up with my blog in my current state. I asked David to be a “ghost writer” but he said, ‘no’.

My mind feels like it is short circuiting, and I am having a difficult time being able to function-let alone blog.
I don’t know what the next few weeks are going to look like…
I wish I could just tell you what is in my mind, but I can’t.
The good and the bad of it is is the doctor’s have changed my meds, and we are all crossing are fingers.(These new meds have terrible side-effects in the beginning.) I am hoping I am able to write by the weekend.

Bipolar people are brilliant people with talent and energy, but like everything else in this world there is a cost. Right now I am just pay off my "tab”.