Jean-Do: A Hero.

Usually I don’t use my blog to do a movie review, but there is a first time for everything. Recently I had the pleasure of watching a movie called the “Diving Bell and the Butterfly.”

This movie is a French movie with English sub-titles. Normally I shy away from foreign films, because I find them to be pompous and confusing.

I even hate Canadian films. I get so angry when I rent one by mistake. I sit down to watch what I think is going to be an ‘okay’ movie, and then I see it…The Canadian Government symbol, which means that my government subsidized the bill for the film. I think to myself, ‘Great just great now I have to spend the next 90 minutes watching a hoser movie.’ (Hoser is Canadian slang meaning loser. Hoser is pronounced: hose-er.) 8 times out of 10 I am right. I am such a movie snob.

Last week I sat my movie snob butt down and surfed through the pay-per-view movies I came across a French film that intrigued me. David was sleeping and I thought maybe just maybe I could become a bit more cultured.

Here is the movie’s premise:

On December 8, 1995 Jean- Dominique Bauby, the editor-in-chief of Elle magazine, suffered a stroke and lapsed into a coma. He awoke 20 days later, mentally aware of his surroundings but physically paralyzed with the exception of some movement in his head and eyes (one of which had to be sewn up due to an irrigation problem). He wrote a book. The entire book was written by Bauby blinking his left eyelid, which took ten months (four hours a day). A transcriber repeatedly recite a French language frequented used lettered alphabet: (E, S, A, R, I, N, T, U, L, etc.), until Bauby blinked to choose the next letter. The book took about 200,000 blinks to write and an average word took approximately two minutes. The book also chronicles everyday events for a person with locked-in syndrome. These events include playing at the beach with his family, getting a bath, and meeting visitors.

Jean-Dominique Bauby was an ordinary man with an extraordinary illness. I am an ordinary woman complaining about the happenings of my ordinary life. Sometimes I need a reminder that I am not as broken as I feel. Wait I take that back…I am as broken as I let myself be, and that’s the truth.

As I watched this amazing true story I sat in awe of this man’s endurance and will. And I pondered what would I be like in that situation? Would I have the same endurance and will? Or would I give up and wilt away? When the days and nights seem long and endless will I remember this man’s journey? Will I preserver and go on? I hope so.

I think…wait I KNOW you should see this movie, which is on video. Or at least read the book. Don’t let an opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eye pass you by.

I give this movie an A, and a thumb’s up.

6 Days, 21 Hours 28 Minutes...

I changed the name of my blog to: I REALLY WANT A STARBUCKS! As it turns out I can live without a cookie, but I am not sure that I can say the same when it comes to Starbucks coffee. I have had to give up the most wonderful morning drink of my life. (I am aware that you may not LOVE Starbucks and I am not holding it against you. We are still friends.)



I am depressed. My coffee machine is on the counter with no one to love it.

What I want to know is why the pharmaceutical companies never invented a “Starbucks Patch”? You know a patch that would be similar to the kind of patch that people wear who want to quit smoking. It would be awesome, because every so often I would get a hit of espresso to my nervous system.

I am a one Venti-a-day drinker. So far I have been without a Starbucks for 2 hours and 56 minutes.

It is not all bad news. I can go back to my espresso sin in one week-if I want to. (Yes, please.) I am going back to my addiction for both of our sakes. If I don’t get coffee after one week than all of my entries are going to be about Starbucks, and they are going to have a real bitch flavour to them. That is “if” I can write. I might be in a padded room rocking back and forth plotting my escape to the closest Starbucks.

Time until next Starbucks: One week. Only 6 days and 21 hours to go.

Damn you Howard Schultz for opening a coffee shop that I love so much!

Amy, Amy, How Does Your Photos Grow?

I am tired of all of the grey weather that we have been having; in order to feel better I went for a walk. Isn’t a walk supposed to make a person feel happier? Yeah, except I took a walk in the rain, perfect timing is not my forte. This is where I should mention in addition to Noah’s Ark’s rainfall there was also a gusty wind storm. Looking back on this whole situation I think my ultimate downfall was my failure was to look out my window.

Can you picture me in a rain storm walking against the wind? And you know what I forgot? My power boots, that’s what! I left my pink sparkle rain boots at home. Instead I wore the shoes my daughter refers to as “n-ike”. I tell her over and over again-the shoes are pronounced: “ni-key”! (Don’t argue with me. I am smarter than you!) Wait, I was the one that was wearing the dumbass shoes in a storm. AM I REALLY the smart one?

In my cold hands I have a hot pink IPod and a camera. A camera! Really? Why? I decided that I wanted to take pictures while I skip down the street trying to snap as many pictures as my camera would allow before it ran out of batteries.

Photography might be a good hobby for me. If you remember I am in the market for some new hobbies.

First attempt at a hobby: Photography in a storm with limited battery life.

I am going to show you the fruits of my labour. The good news is you will get to see a glimpse of how I see the world. Look at these photos and please give me feedback. These photos were taking on my street. Please look at these photos and please give me feedback.

And the best news: In the end the walk did lift my spirits.

It's a Zoo in There! Where? My Head- Silly.

Today I feel like I am trapped under an elephant, and I am doing anything I can just to keep breathing. It is like a constant pressure that I am feeling on my chest. I just checked, and there is an elephant sitting on me. I named him Jim.

However large he might be I don’t think Jim is my only issue. I am feeling a lot of other things that are causing me discomfort, and I will name those issues “Stress”. I have to say at this point I much prefer Jim to “Stress”.

I am not going to go into the reasons why me and “Stress” are hanging out, because I think that that will be a pointless exercise. I am not one of those people who complain. (Ouch- I was just struck by lightning. Are you okay Jim? Now Jim and “Stress” are hanging. I don’t think a stressed elephant who is sitting on you is a good thing.) Let’s just say I have a lot of my mind, and I wish that I didn’t. I have a lot to deal with, and I wish that I didn’t. I want to go back to simpler times; you know when the only time I saw an elephant was at a zoo.

You know what really ticks me off? It is when people say that they are having a “panic-attack”. If you happen to suffer from panic attacks then who am I to judge, but I would rather say I have an elephant named Jim hanging out with me than run around having panic attacks. Not only will I be stressed, but people will think I am crazy. Oh, and guess what? I will have an excuse to go to Costco and buy a lot of peanuts.

Happy Birthday Dear David

I have had a lot on my plate in the last few weeks. David turned 40! (Right on David! Congratulations for living this long!) Maybe not, he is okay with the fact that he is becoming a “mature adult”, but I am not. Forgive me when I say that 40 seems so old. What happened to 20? We met when he was 21, and he never told me that he was going to turn 40. That is called false advertising. I didn’t know he had fine print, and I didn’t know that I was suppose to read it. I know you will find this hard to believe, but I was as shallow then as I am now. If I thought this whole David aging thing through; I might’ve just “leased” him for 8 years. (You know like a car.) Yeah but the only problem with leasing is- you have to make the “lease” or “buy” commitment at the time of purchase. And as far as boyfriends go he was (and still is) a Ferrari, so how could I not buy him? Who wants to “lease” a Ferrari? (Only a complete dumbass-that’s who.) Wait! Don’t Ferraris get more valuable with age? Yes they do! Too bad he isn’t a car. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression-too late. I would not trade David in; even for a newer Ferrari. My Ferrari is exactly the way I want it to be.

It is really not his age that paralyzes me- it’s my age! (Yes it does always come back to me.) My thinking is this: If David turned 40 then I will turn 40 in 5 years and 3 weeks. I am not ready to be 40 yet! I am running out of time.

I don’t care about wrinkles, or grey hair. (Truth: I do color my hair and wish I didn’t have wrinkles, but I am trying to make a point!) Being 40 scares me, because I have been waiting for the “perfect” time to start “living”. If I don’t get my butt into gear than I will spend the next 40 years of my life perfecting on being the ultimate online solitaire player. I can’t let life pass me by. I need to spend the next 5 years 3 weeks perfecting other interests that will fulfill my life, so by the time I turn 40 I will be an expert at “living my life to the fullest, and I won’t be afraid to have adventures.” I am going to tell you a secret: I am scared. Playing solitaire is so much easier.

Here is my plan: I am going to raise money for a new espresso machine for my birthday, because I think better under the influence of caffeine. I am going to make a list of the things that I want in my future. I already know one thing: I want a big back yard full of hydrangeas and cherry blossoms. I need a plan, because I need to get moving on this “mid-life crisis” that I am having on behalf on David. I am a wonderful person, because how many people would have a mid-life crisis for their partner? What? A Drama Queen? Shut up!