'Girl, You Are Looking Mighty Fine!'

I hate getting compliments about my weight loss. Am I the only one? When people tell me, ‘Amy, you are looking so good.’ I cringe. It is not that I don’t want the compliment- I do. It is just this: a compliment about how good I look makes me think of how crappy I must’ve looked when I was larger.

I think my problem with this whole compliment thing is because when I was heavier I told myself everyday that I was ‘hot’. I walked around like a peacock, and had all of the confidence that went with it.

Let me go back and correct myself it isn’t the compliment per se; it is the way people say it, it is the tone they use when the compliment is said. What was I a hippopotamus? I know, I know, I was, and I am just being OVERLY sensitive.

As a result of my ego issues I backed out of my 1st tummy tuck appointment because, baby a tummy tuck is an ‘Instant presto change-o’ body transformation.’ It’s a ‘You’d better donate all of your current garments to charity, because girl they won’t be fitting after this is all over!’ If I couldn’t deal with the compliments now then how was I going to square up the compliments that came after the tuck?

I finally did a lot of thinking, and realized that I had to get over myself. I am not defined solely on my past, current, and future looks. Oh my, I am not defined on my looks at all! (Well that’s not true- I am the one who is doing the defining, and I am the one who put a value on the looks department. Like I said before: I need to get over myself!!! I am working on it.)

One day I was in the shower aka ‘my thinking spot’ and it occurred to me that I should desire the best life has to offer; to hell with second rate.

Do I have a nice home? Check. (But I want a bigger, and better one in the near future. Alright then we need to set a plan in place. There is just one thing; if we get another house with three bathrooms we are definitely going to get a house cleaner, right? Absolutely.)

Do I have a nice car? Oh yeah. It’s all decked out. Love it. (I need to get me one more. Sure no problem; plan it, and it will happen.)

I know I did the material things first, but I was thinking materialistically at the time, but don’t worry I switched my focus to family…finally.

Dog…check….best dog ever!
Cat….what can I say there? David and Holly love the cat. Nobody’s life can be picture perfect.

Husband and Daughter: check, check, and double check. There is nothing that needs upgrading in this department.

What else is there?

Me? Oh yeah me! I need to get some self-esteem, and some self worth, because how am I suppose to make all of these other things happen if I don’t think that I am worth an ‘upgrade’.

So there I was standing in the shower waiting for my conditioner to rinse out of my hair, because I just had to jump out of the shower, and into my new perspective. (Oh yeah I also realized that I needed to go to the store buy me some more conditioner too.)

I realized that I had short changed myself when I turned away from the first tuck. Looking back I think it was a good thing, because it is obvious I wasn’t ready, and to do something of such magnitude you must have your head on straight. Yeah but the only problem that I have now is that I have to wait forever and a day for my tummy tuck. Even in my thinking spot I have realized that patience is not something that I am particularly good at. In fact I am terrible at it. I am one of those people that if the grocery line is too huge, and there are not enough cashiers working I will seek out the store manager and ask him if he is busy, because we could really use his help at the till. It may be bold, but it works. (It also works in banks too, however I wouldn’t try it in government offices; even I am not that brave.

My consultation appointment is on April 13th, but I am on the cancelation list. I have my home phone call forwarded to my cell phone just in case, because the sooner I have my consultation the sooner I can be sliced and diced. (Eww- that didn’t sound too good.) I will keep you posted .