I Have Some News

I have to share this with you-no really I must. We are all in this together and you deserve to hear this from me.

I woke up to a winter-wonderland, and you know how I feel about that. Today something was different I watched the snow fall from the warm soft comfort of my bed, and thought about going to yoga class. Today is Tuesday, which means in a few hours I would be stretching and kissing my yoga pad. I got out of bed and headed for the shower. “Oh my God today is Tuesday, oh I have to weigh myself.” I stood frozen in my bathroom wondering if I should actually weigh myself, or ignore it and do it next week. “I don’t think I can handle another gain.” I told the face in my bathroom mirror. She nodded in agreement, but told me to get the scale anyway. I cursed her as I went and got the scale from its secret hiding place. David came in and asked me what I was doing, and then he saw it - THE SCALE. I asked him to follow me into the bathroom to referee the weigh-in, and after seeing that there was nowhere to hide he agreed.

Amy: I am not actually going to look at the scale. You do it for me. Plus if I stand straight and tall on the scale I think I will weigh less.
David: Alright, but it shouldn’t matter how you stand on the scale…
Amy: It totally matters!

I stepped on the scale, arms at my side, back straight, my eyes faced forward,

Amy: So?
David: What?
Amy: How much?
David: Do you really want to know?

(I knew I should have gone pee before I stepped on the scale, because then the number would be a little better at least. And then I remember I have been working out, and muscle weighs more than fat, right?)

Amy: Yes tell me.
David: 198
Amy: SHUT UP!

Then I proceed to get on and off the scale ten times or so to make sure. I even go as far as to add my workout weights to my body and weigh myself, and then take them off just to test the scale. Sure enough: 198!

After I nearly wore out the batteries on the scale I handed the scale to David, and told him to hide the scale for two weeks. My reasoning was this: I don’t want to see my weight go up and down even just a little bit. If I wait two weeks I should clear 200 long enough to be far enough away that I will never see it again.

I am totally proud of myself! I am absolutely continuing my daily routines, which are a must for me to stay under the dreaded 200’s. My next goal: 185- It just sounds so sexy.

Protein Drinks Suck

Life can be unfair…well not really, but sometimes enough for me to take notice and complain. I am hiding out in our “den”; trying to ignore the delicious smells coming from our kitchen. At this very moment David is enjoying a wonderful dish of chicken and rice, and I know first hand that his taste buds are in heaven. Most of you are probably wondering why my husband is consuming dinner without me. Well the truth of the matter is I can not eat solid food, because I am back to dining on liquid-fare.

To be honest no matter how fancy you dress up a protein shake up it never smells good. “Oh my God smell this!”
“What is it?”
“It’s the new smell-good protein shake.”
“Wow that is nice; if it taste half as good as it smells I am totally in!”

And while we are on the subject of smelling things I need to ask you all a question. Does this happen to you or is it just me? Here it is: I have this friend and whenever anything smells bad she ALWAYS says, “Yuck, smell this,” and then proceeds to shove the disgusting item to my nasal region for a second opinion. The stupid part is I actually smell the item, as if her word wasn’t good enough. I should learn to put more faith in her sniffing abilities.

Let’s be honest with each here: protein drinks do not taste great. They may taste okay, or good, but not great. Who am I kidding that taste like crap. We can make them any flavor we want, but you can always taste that ever-so-lovely protein aftertaste. Don’t mind me I am just grumpy because for the next 24 hours I am sucking down protein drinks, yummy. I had better go I here the blender…

I Am Hot!

I am hot! Surprisingly enough I don’t mean this in a vain way. I mean literally, I am warm as in, “Can someone turn on the air conditioner?” It is currently a balmy -5C or 23F degrees outside. Don’t worry I am taking the necessary steps to cool myself off: I’ve managed to drink 1 ½ of water in the last hour to cool my body core. I have taken a cold shower, I have turned off the furnace in the house, and I am sitting in my office with both windows open creating a cross-breeze. So far nothing has proven successful. I may have to break out the summer fans to get some sleep; I can not sleep if I am too warm. My next step is to get into our deep freeze and just go to sleep in there.

Up-Date:
As I near the end of week one I am thrilled to report that I am on track with my exercise goals. I have fulfilled all obligations for this week-so far. Tomorrow is the gym. I bought cute new workout capri pants to wear tomorrow. They were only $7.00! And the good news is: I did not HAVE buy them in the plus size department, but if I had bought them there they would have been closer to $30.00. What a total rip off for plus-size clothes! How do those guys sleep at night? (David says, “On their big pile of money!” )

Well my toes are starting to get a little cold now so I guess I will give bed a try.
Good Night All!

I Gained Weight!

I feel like selling the farm, giving up the goat. I don’t have a goat to give so we are okay on goat trading today, but at any rate I am frustrated. I will let you know that I am typing very slowly because in addition to typing I am also banging my head against my desk. I know that this is counterproductive, but I don’t know what else to do. Seriously I am out of ideas.

Let’s have a frank discussion about my weight loss. My cage is all rattled up, because of my difficulties, so let’s just deal with it. In case you just tuned in I have been struggling to lose weight. I know I make it look easy at times, but if I am being absolutely honest I have to tell you that it is harder than it looks. I have hit the wall so hard I have given myself a concussion. The truth is during the month of January I have successfully managed to gain 2 pounds. OUCH!

I am not happy with these results. I am going to take action. I am not a person who cries and expects the world to fix my problems. I am a fix-it-myself-kinda-girl. (Once I stop banging my head on my desk….okay…)
Here is my plan:
1. Start a six day exercise regime (The word regime just sounds so intimidating, like you know it is going to be a lot of work, and it is going to involve a lot of pain.)
2. Cut my calories down drastically. (I have to do this with pure self-control. I am in need of a fill, but my doctor is under the opinion that I need to wait four more weeks.)
3. Get a lap ban…wait I already did that. (Darn that thing is supposed to work wonders too.)

Exercise Regime:
Monday: Curves
Tuesday: Yoga
Wednesday: Curves
Thursday: Swimming
Friday: Gym
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday: One hour walk
(If you see me out and about on any given day not doing my exercises, please return me to the nearest gym, yoga hut, or Curves outlet.)

My goal is to lose 15 pounds by March 4th. I will be doing this on a wing and a prayer. Wish me good luck; because this is not a goal…this is my reality.

When You Get Knocked On Your Butt by the Flu

I have been M.I.A. from blogging for a few weeks because I was sick. I had a flu-cold combo, which turns into the “I-bet-you-wish-you-were-dead-huh?” flu-cold combination. No matter how much I pleaded, bribed, or begged it would not release me from its deadly grip. I would go to bed at night with the hopes that tomorrow would be the day that the tides would change and I would feel better. I would open my eyes in the morning, and I still felt like crap. I bought medication after medication believing their promise of wellness. After watching a commercial for some wonder drug I would turn to David and say, “Quick the drug store is closing in ten minutes; get me some of that! I have every symptom listed, and it says it will fix every one of them! Why would they lie? Don’t give me that face…yes I know you are in your PJs but we are at war!” As you can see I put a lot of faith in commercials.

Now I am not admitting to anything, but it may have been the countless trips to the drugstore at midnight, or just being around me, but David decided the best way to get out of going to the store was to get sick too. There were days we would just sleep in bed, and nothing else; except for the occasional whimper of pain. We also enjoyed the playing the game “Who is the Most Tired.” (To play this game you have to convince the other person you couldn’t possibly get up and cook dinner or do any other chores around the house. I must tell you that I was very good at this game; in fact I am the house champion!) As of now I am taking care of the house, because David is still a little under the weather, but he will not admit it.

I have learned a lot from this whole experience: flues are getting worse and are harder to kill off, and I must remember to get a flu shot in October next year!

My Christmas Weight Loss Challenge.

For my faithful followers,
In December I made a weight loss goal to lose 8.5 pounds, which is what most people gain during the holiday season. I don’t know how I did it, but by the skin of my teeth I did it! I lost 8.5 pounds during the holiday season. (Amy 1. Holiday cookies 0. )

Happy 3 Month Anniversary!

Anniversaries mean a lot to me. Much to David’s chagrin I celebrate everything. In translation that usually involves him having to “celebrate” by shopping, and me “celebrating” by receiving.

Me: David do you know what today is?

Little beads of sweat start to form on his brow, and his eyes start to fixate like a deer unable to move away from certain tragedy, because he knows what is coming next he just doesn’t know what form it will take.

David: What’s today?
Amy: You don’t know? (My voice starts to crack. David’s head starts to throb.)

I should stop here and save the man, because it could be anything! It could be the anniversary of our first kiss. The anniversary of the first day we moved in together. The anniversary of day he asked me to marry him. It could be the anniversary we bought our first home; you get the idea. My memory is long, and David failed to invest in a calendar, so sometimes he gets blindsided. The worse one for David is our wedding anniversary. I will say up front he has never forgotten our wedding anniversary. I just throw him curve balls every chance I get.

David: Hey Amy do you know what tomorrow is?
Me: Yeah, but it is no big deal.

Now he looks confused and tired, because he has spent countless nights unable to sleep, because he was trying to plan our perfect anniversary.

Me: We don’t have to do anything big to celebrate; let’s just do something small.
David: Okay.

The problem was my definition of something “small”. For my part it meant I will get David something small to show I am thinking about him, and I will make him dinner. For David’s part it should be business as usual. Unfortunately for him he thought small meant small. He scrapped his “big” idea which would have been fine, and went for “small” which was not fine. We had been married for a few years before David caught on to my definition of “small” in regards to our anniversary.

2008 will be our thirteen wedding anniversary, and we will probably have a “small” celebration. David will spend sleepless nights planning how to shower me with tokens of love, and I will make him his favorite chicken dinner. Everyone will be happy.

January 3rd is my three month anniversary for being banded. I have lost 43 pounds. I am celebrating the day by working out. The question is: does David know it is an anniversary day? Hmmm… should I tell him or let the poor guy get some sleep?

Happy Holidays and Other Things That People Say!

Wow December hit me like a ton of bricks. I never appreciated what that saying truly meant until now. There I was relaxing, drinking my Starbucks, watching my Christmas tree rotate, and the next thing I know I am being held hostage in a 24-hour Wal-Mart looking for this year’s sold-out-must-have-gift: Password Journal. All the while I am thinking to myself why in the world would my only child need a "password" journal? As her parents we not about to intrude on her privacy, but obviously I can not speak for the cat and dog. Usually I am a prepared gift giver, but this year I screwed the pooch. All my gifts were last minute. We travelled over 100 km to look for this toy. We hunted in Toy's R Us and Wal-Marts; we would have tried more stores but they were the only ones that catered to desperate parents at midnight. Normally after the first store I would have said, "Screw it", but it became an obsession. At 2am we were standing in Wal-Mart which happened to be crowded. We couldn’t walk through the isles without bumping into desperate shoppers. I realized then we were never going to find this toy, because if they ever had this stupid toy; they wouldn't have had anymore at two in morning! We were about eighteen hours too late. We ended getting her High School Musical 2. I won't even mention that the lines were twenty customers long at 2 am. Go home and sleep for God’s sake…oh wait I was there too…never mind.

Then there was the gift wrapping itself. It takes me an hour or so to wrap a gift. I just can't put a bow on the gift and call it good. If that was all that is expected of me the folks at Hallmark wouldn't have made curling ribbon and such. While I wrapped the gifts I watched Christmas movies and prime time TV. Let’s just say I watched a lot of TV.

We visited my in-laws. At my in-laws we have Christmas traditions that I adore. We eat a wonderful Christmas dinner, for dessert we eat rice pudding, we try and win chocolates by finding the almond in the pudding, we sing Christmas songs around the Christmas tree, Holly plays Santa Claus, and my father-in-law complains that I use too much tape. (Which I do, but I can't break a tradition.) My in-laws spoil me at Christmas, but the best gift they have given me for Christmas is the traditions we celebrate.

On Christmas day we flew to my mother's house for Christmas. My future sister-in-law (if my brother would get around to marrying her) made a wonderful Christmas dinner. My whole family was there, which was a great feeling. The family sat around the tree, which was wonderful because it was the first time that we had all been together in ten years. My favourite part was that Santa remembered to fill my childhood stocking. My family may not have traditions, because we fly by the seat of our pants when it comes to Christmas, but it was still magical. I would have to say bar-none it was the best Christmas we ever celebrated.

On New Years we spent it with friends. We had gourmet food, watched great British TV, and rung in the New Year with Dick Clark.

My holidays were spectacular, how were yours?