I have a good friend that I love very dearly, but right now I am frustrated with her choices. I absolutely know without a doubt that I do not have any right to be frustrated. It is not my business, but I still let it eat me up inside.
Here is the deal:
My friend is very overweight, and has a lot of health issues. At the moment this is her circle:
She has some foot issues. Her foot issues are made worse because she is overweight. She needs to lose weight so she can walk on her feet. In order to lose weight she needs to exercise. It is hard for her to exercise due to her foot issues, and also due to the fact that she is out of shape because she has not been able to exercise. She can not lose weight, and therefore her feet are still in very poor condition at best. It has gotten so bad that at the age of 52 she has a handicap parking pass, and has to have a wheelchair to go shopping. She can not go for a walk with her husband; instead she sits in the car and draws while he walks the dog. I am certain that this is not how she wants to live her life.
Now she has another circle to add to the mix: she has fibromyalgia, and needs to exercise to lose weight to help manage the pain, but…and the circle goes round and round. She can not get a break.
She is also diabetic, and has bad case of sleep apnea. I am no doctor but I believe that if she lost weight she would have a better quality of life. If she doesn’t lose the weight; well… then she may have no life at all.
Hey if you want to be chubby that is fine with me. It makes me look better when I stand next to you. I don’t want to save the world by making sure there is a lapband in every fat person’s stomach. I have many overweight friends, and I like them very much thank you. I happen to be overweight myself. But then there is this friend who just makes me scared that I am going to lose her to her weight. Now I know what my family felt like.
We have discussed the possibility of her getting the band, and we don’t see eye to eye when it comes to her reservations.
1. It is not a matter of money; however she doesn’t feel that she is worth spending that much money for a lapband.
Yeah, but how much will your funeral cost? Or even worse what if you continue to get sicker; how much will the emotional and physical pain cost?
2. She is concerned that she is an emotional over eater; and as such she is afraid that the band will not prove effective.
But I ask you were we not all emotional over eaters? We did not get fat by portion control, or eating the ‘right’ foods. We ate what felt good, and we ate big portions.
I understand that you have to get in the right frame of mind before you can take on such as an endeavour such as this surgery, but what if your life is at stake? What if this is the end of the line? It is so hard for me to watch her suffer.
I know that I can not tie her to the car, drive her to the hospital, and throw her on the operating table to get a band. (I would if I could.) I know it is time for me to stop hounding her, and just let her be, and let God take care of her. I am not going to discuss the lapband with her anymore, because why beat a dead horse? I needed to get my frustration out, so I am writing this entry. If anything happens to my friend I can go back and read what I wrote, and know that I did everything I could to help her. I can’t save everyone; even the people that I love. I just hope that God can. I believe in miracles! I love you dear friend, and you are worth it!
1 comment:
She is a lucky lady to have such a friend as you. I wish someone close to me had clued me into the lapband way before I discovered it on my own. Just keep praying for her and maybe, just maybe when you continue to get more beautiful than you already are she will be convinced, that she is also worthy of being thin and healthy again.
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